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Helm of the Heart

We are the ones we've been waiting for


It has been far too long since I came here to reflect and record my thoughts. Part of it might be due to my new job working at an online charter school, typing and staring at a computer screen all day. But mostly, I think I have been in the throes of abundant change.

Leaving Northern California and my former school behind was difficult, but my nomadic lifestyle has hindered my ability to take root and marinate on the changes taking place both internally and externally.

There are many aspects of living in Southern California that are wonderful. I get to see my family and friends more frequently, and Mexican food now makes up approximately 30% of my diet.

There is definitely a different “overall vibe”, however. I’m not sure if it’s all the lifted trucks, orange skin and plastic bodies, because these features exist in Northern California, although seemingly to a lesser degree.

I don’t know know if it’s the fact that all the groupons and livingsocial deals in my inbox used to feature museums, yoga studios, and exotic foods, whereas now I receive constant deals for Botox and eyelash extensions.

I really can’t put into words why two parts of the same state seem so different. What I’ve come to realize is that it really doesn’t matter.

Having true “peace of mind” means that you are unswayed by your external stimulus.

I certainly wouldn’t claim that I have achieved this. I’m not sure if it is something to be achieved. It’s more of a practice, like yoga. Something that you constantly work towards, bringing your everyday awareness into harmony with your inner truth.

Since moving down here, I have been practicing at CorePower Yoga. Many people critique CorePower for being “too Western” or “gym yoga”. In essence, I think that many yogis see the chain of studios and the franchise-esque feel and they are turned off. I initially chose these studios because they are all over Orange County and San Diego, and since I am moving around a lot, it’s nice to have that flexibility.

While I loved my studios in San Jose (Just Breathe Yoga & Downtown Yoga Shala) and I credit these studios and their teachers for nurturing my own path as a yogi, I have also found solace in creating my own personal tranquilly, without my beloved community.

I aim to examine the seemingly difficult or frustrating aspects of my life as “catalyst for growth” rather than dwelling on what isn’t the way I think it should be. Throughout this transition, yoga has been one of my constants, and while it may not be in a studio adorned with the works of local artists and we don’t chant, and no one has had me scream with every ounce of my lung capacity before savasana (that was awesome, Noell!), I still crave the time I have on my mat to forget everything and just absorb.

We refer to yoga as a “practice”, but most important things in life should be viewed that way. By letting go of the images and constructs of what we think we should be, and acknowledging our progressions and regressions, we can actually accomplish more.



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